It’s lovely when you do things for others and you can see in them what difference your time and effort has made. You know by the twinkle in the eye or the look on their face that you have helped. They don’t need to say a word as you sense how they feel and you know at that moment how much they acknowledge and appreciate your support.
So, what happens when you don’t see that in others after you have helped them, what happens when you sense they have no idea how much you have done…. well, actually it’s probably when you tried too hard. Maybe you were on your own agenda or your own crusade, presuming you can make everything good….. and they just didn’t need as much as you gave.
I know that as a coach you cannot coach those who don’t want to be coached. Maybe you shouldn’t help those who don’t have the self discipline to help themselves. Harsh, I know, but who’s benefitted here? The person who has stepped in to help and taken all the pressure of the situation, or the person who hasn’t taken action and isn’t that bothered as they know someone else (i.e. you) will mop it all up! Neither.
So my advice is simple, as a natural giver of time and energy and support, reflect carefully on who you help by understanding first your reason why you want to do that. It’s not about you it’s about them and if you can’t cope with the disappointment of them not being grateful.. avoid at all cost and work with those who will get that twinkle in their eye and nothing needs to be said.